Imman

two saturdays ago i went out with dale and jae and wil [shujin88] and had a great time. you can read all about that here. anyway, long story short - i found myself shelling just a little less than a thousand bucks and a half for a hair cut and hair color...

- nothing wild. unnatural hair colors aren't allowed where i work. it's not even that obvious in the pics behind the cut. i gel-ed my hair this afternoon before i went to the office though (im currently doing 5pm to 1am shifts) and my team leader told me that my hair was hotness (she also told me several days ago that i only look cute in pics... /cry).

mmmkaaaay. anyways...

( hair-colored-ness )

this is one of the most pleasant surprises i've ever had in my life.

( romancing the gifted )

i think the antibiotics are messing with my head, but i just had one of the most exhilarating and, at the same time, most creepy dreams i can remember.

...which is why i'm out of my bed typing this as 3:30 in the morning instead of sleeping because i woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. not yet. at least not until i've recorded this down.

before i continue, do any of you guys know anyone named DANA connected in any way possible to graphic novels? he might be an inker, a writer, the guy who actually draws the frames (i don't know what they're called) or whatever?

...because whoever he is, if he's real, i have just dreamt of being in two of his graphic novels - or at least in one, and in the trailer of another.

and no, i never was a fan of graphic novels and i know next to nothing about them. which makes this whole dream sequence even more strange.

i apologize in advance for any grammatical/typo errors. it's too early in the day to be writing an entry.


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this is one of those days when i find myself regretting the past eight years of my life. work is so frustrating. so so very frustrating.

for the past week i've been trying to play a seemingly endless game of catch-up at work... except i never catch-up, and i'm nowhere even near catching anything. it's like being in school and realizing you've missed a whole grade. it's that kind of frustrating.

i went down with a really bad case of flu on sunday and was bed-ridden until yesterday - literally spending almost all of my time on the bed - alternating between bouts of high fever, and stomach cramps brought about by the nasty antibiotics my parents are forcing me to take. i had to call in sick on monday and tuesday, and although i was hardly well enough to go to work today, i forced myself to report to work because i was thinking of all the other things i would miss that i would not be able to catch up on.

despite having a slight fever, a headache that throbbed incessantly and a stomach that wouldn't stop churning because of the goddamn antibiotics, i arrived at the office and started another long day of attempting to figure out what the hell i was doing or am supposed to do.

it's not that the job is hard. it's not... at all. i've pretty much mastered most of the routinary aspects of the job. it's the non-routinary stuff that's killing me.

i put in a few minutes before and after work sifting through the e-mails, trying to figure out a pattern in the almost arcanic chaos of words and acronyms, and they still don't make any sense at all. it's like trying to divine the fate of humanity in a bowl of alphabet soup. that's what the past 2 weeks have been for me.

it's so frustrating because, if someone would just take the time to sit down and focus... really focus and explain to me how the system works and how the data flows through the system and what tables are involved and what processes are run at what time and in relation to what issue, then it would have been very simple. like if someone would pull up an issue then explain the solution and how it relates to everything, then i figure i wouldn't be groping in the darkness like i am now.

i know i'm not stupid, but this job is making me feel really really stupid. 95% of the time i have utterly NO idea what people are talking about during meetings or in email correspondences. my team mates try to be helpful but most of the time they're too busy solving their own issues since we have tight deadlines that need to be met and it virtually renders them incapable to have the time to tutor their newbie.

i try being "proactive" and asking them sometimes to explain how they solved an issue but they would give me instructions and/or explanations that are just about as alien as klingon. most of the time they seem to forget that i know nothing... as in zero... about whatever it is that they're talking about. the problem isn't that the problem is hard - the problem is that i can't even understand what the problem is.

...and i know it's not difficult. it's not rocket science. and that's what makes it frustrating, it's week two of our "OJT" period and i still don't have a single idea how to solve most of the issues being thrown at us. i have an "exam" at the end of the month. good luck to me.



i just had to rant and let it all out. it's been a really bad day for me.

i almost passed out due to hunger at lunch because i was trying to figure out something (and for the record, i wasn't able to figure it out). i still can't take a step without wincing in pain because i hardly stood up during the 3 days i was sick and my leg muscles semi-atrophied. i had to grapple and shove with the yucky masses trying to get a jeep going home, under the rain without an umbrella. i was hungry, and cold... and you get the general idea.








on days like this, i think to myself - i really. really. really. should have taken up psychology in college.



---------------

alam ko se-sermonan na naman ako ni RD kung mabasa nya to. focus on the positive, he would say. kumusta ka naman yoda ng buhay ko hehe. haaay...

well, i have a job. yun na lang iisipin ko. it really really sucks at the moment because i can't figure out how anything works but eventually mage gets ko din sya.

hello... ano bang ginagawa ng genius IQ ko no? harhar.

rant over. happy na ulit :)

i can see clearly now, the rain is gone...




wala lang. masaya lang ako. kahit na ang hirap ng trabaho, at halos wala na akong social life (at mas lalong walang love life). basta smile lang lagi hehe :D

this is just a short entry to inform every body na buhay pa ako. sobrang busy lang sa work. hehe :)

hindi lang kayo ang may olympic story...

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today marks a milestone in my stalking history.

there's this guy in the office that i've sort of been crushing on for the past three weeks. he sits one row away from where our team usually sits. i must be a really really bad stalker since, up to this moment, i only know two things about him - what team he belongs to, and where he graduated from.

i know what school he comes from because he proudly wears his white jacket with the large bold words "De La Salle" in green written across it. it was a bit of a disappointment at first because, and this is based solely on personal experience, i usually don't become close to la salle guys. la salle, for me, has always been the "slytherin" to ateneo's gryffindor (with UP taking up the ravenclaw and ust taking the hufflepuff houses respectively) - i mean, you know, they're not all bad but they've got this certain streak to them.

lest this progresses to school bashing, let me just clarify by saying that most of the guys (i'm talking about guys only... not girls - primarily because i don't pay attention to girls that much, regardless of what school they come from) from la salle that i've met come off as having excessively strong to the point of being obnoxious alpha-type personalities. i don't know if it's the culture or what but i find their level of assertiveness disconcerting. i have yet to meet a guy from la salle that i got to know really well who i geniunely liked. but that's just me.

anyway... so this evening as i was packing my stuff and getting prepared to go home, i see him from across the divider also doing the same and the gears in my head start turning. i overhear him conversing with another officemate about how it took him only 10 minutes to get home and i was thinking - either he has a car or he lives really near by.

i wanted us to leave the work area together and catch the same elevator going down so i could be bibo and talk to him and shit but he took a fucking long time to get done with clearing his desk. so i try to pack my things more slowly until i finally ran out of delaying tactics (i even scooted over to our manager to engange in small talk while waiting for him to finish) but he still wasn't done, so i was like "you know what, screw this."

so i head down, out of the building and walk to where the jeepneys stop in front of the makati stock exchange. so dumdidumdum i was waiting for the jeep (i ride the ones going to guadalupe from ayala) and lo and behold i saw him pass me by and ride an ayala-zapote jeep. i was like... shocked. i mean, he looked like one of those cute mestizo guys who don't look like they've ever rode a jeepney in their entire lives and i never expected him to be this... down to earth.

...and of course, i just had to ride the same fucking jeep even though i had no idea where it was going.



15 unfruitful minutes later filled with unnoticed longing gazes from me to him (okay... i'm exaggerating... im pretty sure i wasnt that obvious), i found myself semi-lost at the corner of jp.rizal and zapote. i walked all the way from zapote to reposo (a good kilometer or so worth of footwork away) where i was finally able to catch my proper ride home.



in conclusion, i'd just like to think that - hey, if we ever do get together some day, at least i know he lives just 10 minutes away from me.



and tangena, even though nothing came out of the whole thing and nagpagod lang ako kakalakad, he is SO worth it. lol.

For Love Eternal

Cerellean Whiteclaw: In the aftermath of the battles at the Well of Eternity, I heard that Ameth'Aran had been destroyed, its people dead, including my love, Anaya.

I would never have thought, thousands of years later, that memories of Anaya would still haunt my dreams. Wandering the woods of Darkshore in a stupor, I found myself in the ruins of Ameth'Aran... where I saw the haunted spirit of my beloved.

She must be freed, but I lack the heart to do it. Her spirit must be destroyed.

---

Both Cerellean and Anaya are night elves, which means they are immortal unless killed. After you kill Anaya's haunted spirit and retrieve the pendant for Cerellean...

---

Anaya appears in ghost form.

Cerellean Whiteclaw says: Anaya...? Do my eyes deceive me? Is it really you?

Anaya says: The ages have been cruel to you and I, my love, but be assured, it is, and at long last we are reunited.

Cerellean Whiteclaw says: That the fates should be so cruel as to permit us only this after a thousand years apart...

Cerellean Whiteclaw says: Do you hate me, my love? That I was forced to destroy your living form, that your spirit be released from unhappy bondage.

Anaya says: Let it not trouble your heart, beloved. You have freed me from slavery, and for that I love you all the more.

Anaya says: Sadly, even this must be cut short... The ties that bind me to this world weaken, and pull me away...

Cerellean Whiteclaw says: No! Anaya... Anaya! Don't leave me! Please...

Anaya says: Farewell, Cerellean, until we are joined once again...

Anaya's soft voice trails away into the mists, "Know that I love you always..."

Cerellean Whiteclaw says: How, my love? How will I find the strength to face the ages of the world without you by my side...

---

haaay... ang lungkot :(

i downloaded this movie about a week ago and i was only able to watch it now. i can't believe i just wasted 50 minutes of my life watching adam and steve. yes, you heard me right - 50 minutes. the movie runs for an hour and 40 minutes but i just couldn't stand watching the last half of it.

i wish i had just fallen asleep instead or done something more productive... like count the number of times i'd rather bang my head on the wall than watch this movie. that's 50 minutes of my life i'll never have back, and 600MBs worth of bandwidth wasted downloading it from torrent.

i was alternately bored, and disgusted. it was so HORRIBLE. and boring. and HORRIBLE!!!


the only thing that would've been worse than watching this movie would be watching a movie about two girls going at it. just so ewwww.

it's some sort of comedy/"love story" involving two effeminate boring-looking guys with equally annoying and boring personalities except that it's not funny at all. i was expecting kilig - the only thing i felt was "ewww... kadire". and one of the character's personalities was just extremely irritating, he was just begging to be gay-bashed - and instead of feeling sorry for him, i found myself wishing i was one of those people throwing bottles at him.

tangena. this movie is just so fucking ugggggh. i just have to write this down to get it out of my system. dito ko na lang isusuka. kadire kadire kadire.

you only get one chance. one window of opportunity with me - and you blew it.

you never thought i'd like you, but i did, in some way... even if you thought it was all a joke.

but now the feeling is over; and when i wake up tomorrow morning it's going to be a new day, a new chapter of my life that will be written without you there. that's how it is.

i was willing to explore that emotion, figure out if the like will turn into love, but you have issues that cripple you... restrain you from feeling what you want. well then, that's not my problem anymore.

you're out of my life. it was nice knowing you. good bye.

i rode the pasig ferry today on the way home from NBI carriedo.

it's day two of my two-day mecca into the armpit of manila just to get that annoyingly stupid pre-employment requirement - the NBI clearance.

yes, folks. i have a job... and one that i go into not begrudgingly. but this story is not about that.

as i live in a third world country where efficiency is not only a standard but a law, the NBI satellite office in SM megamall where i opted to renew my NBI clearance last thursday declined to release said document for reasons that were unknown and still, up to this very moment, remain unknown.

so yesterday, my dearest mother and i went to carriedo, the main office of aforementioned esteemed institution, to procure my NBI clearance. i lined up, had my picture taken the second time (first was in megamall) by a cheap web cam (and, que horror, not even a choice of lighting or background), and line up again, and lined up a third time, only to be told that the document was going to be released the next day - today.

as i tend to get distracted when i narrate, i shall cut down to business and get to the point as quickly as possible. we went back to NBI carriedo, and my mother, a very busy woman who had other plans this afternoon (as my uncle from the states is arriving early tomorrow morning and is planning to stay here in our house) wanted to get home in the quickest way possible.

now, for you people who are not familiar with manila proper, and much less, carriedo - just a word of warning: be prepared to have your soul scarred. i swear to god, that place is the most disgusting, smelly, ugly, intolerable place i have EVER been in my whole life. it is, literally, the armpit of manila, as you could smell people's body odors 20 meters away from you. it is THAT BAD.

but i digress...

i should have kept my mouth shut but i mentioned the ferry boat system traveling up and down the pasig river on our way to manila earlier that day and she got it into her head that we should try it out as we live very near the river and there was a ferry station half a kilometer from our subdivision. reluctantly, i followed her as we walked the odd kilometer from carriedo to escolta, the nearest ferry station.

and here lies the irony... it was one of the nicest boat rides i've ever been on, despite the fact that we were crusing on what one may consider a river of turd - the pasig river.

despite its location, the escolta station was very well maintained. it was clean, and the staff servicing the station looked really nice in their crisp uniforms, so much so that i would dare opine a queen won't even be embarassed being seen in such a place. we payed our fare - 35 pesos - to a lady wearing the uniform of the Pasig Rehabilitation Commission (i didn't even know such commission existed) and waited for ten minutes before the boat arrived.

the ferry was supposed to arrive at 3:03pm (the schedule is written on a prominent whiteboard) and it arrived on the dot. though not overly familiar with boats, ships or any other flotation devices, i knew for a fact that the ferry is a catamaran because of the double hull. i am not sure what particular technology enables the boat not catch, and more importantly, not get caught in the myriad trash, sea weed and other undersirable objects floating on the river but i would presume that it being a catamaran contributes to this outcome.

the ferry itself seats, by my estimate, around eighty people and it was airconditioned and very very clean. it was also a bit of a comfort to see lifejackets under almost all the seats (although i would think that just being immersed in the waters of pasig river would be a much more terrifying experience than death itself). a not-so-recent jet li dvd film was showing on a flat screen tv near the front of the passenger area (i wasn't able to catch the title but man, jet li was HAWT when he was much youunger). the ride itself was very relaxing and very smooth. you really do feel like you're drifting down the river on a warm lazy sunday afternoon.

there is a lot to see during the ride, but none worth promoting as tourist attractions. i would've taken pictures just so i could write a treatise on the vastly different aspects of manila every other hundred meters of the ride portrayed but i didn't want to look like one of those idiotic tourists. it is worth mentioning, though, that the highlight of the ride was passing by this barge being pulled by two tow boats. there was this old guy wearing nothing but white briefs smiling on top of the barge, waving and blowing kisses at us while his crewmates looked on and grinned.

and yes, andy exodia13, i know we joke about it sometimes but i was shocked to see that there are indeed ACTUAL PEOPLE living under the bridges. as in literally. and kids swimming in this river of turd! ohmygod.

but all in all, it was a very pleasant and relaxing experience (and i'm not being sarcastic this time) and i commend whoever is in charge of this operation - not that my commendation means anything of worth, but i fancy my opinions being of value from time to time.

it took us about 40 minutes to get from the escolta station to the hulo station (which is half a kilometer away from the makati manda bridge) and it was really worth it, not only for the convenience, but also for the experience itself. it is a refreshing change of pace from the normal commute. you really do see manila in a different way when you're just coasting down the river - no pollution, no traffic, no ugly smelly people... just you in a tub on the river of turd (but not to worry, the ferry itself is fully airconditioned and you'll be protected from any unpleasant odors that may arise from said river).

---

this is the last day that i am a free man. if i'm not lazy enough, i'll write another entry later.

ttfn.

neil patrick harris + musical about a supervillain + joss whedon production = total flabbergasting awesomeness.

go to this website asap: http://www.drhorrible.com/

thetotorocatbus and maxwerx, i know you guys love musicals... you have to see this if you haven't yet. lol :D


...oh, and it also stars nathan fillion who played the main protagonist in both the tv series and the joss whedon feature serenity (aka firefly). tangenaaaa!

i just effing hate that i cant download this to my PC (it's being made available through some crappy streaming technology).


EDIT: OH MY GOD. it's available on torrent. link is here [torrent].

( new non-radical haircut. )

why do all the intelligent, witty, thought-provoking and interesting messages and comments have to come from fugly guys?!


come on universe, work with me here.

there has got to be a hot guy out there who has a vocabulary that consists of words other than "hi", "hello", "whassup" or some form of unimaginative, overused or bland sexual invitation, who would actually want to hang out with me (and by hang out i mean in the platonic just-buddies sense... although the "i'm interested let's date" sense would be nice too but i'm totally not ready for any shit like that at the moment).

---

i might have some life-altering news on the horizon (and no, i'm not pregnant). i'm keeping mum about it until everything has been finalized and pens have scratched signatures on paper.

this weird, now almost obscure song from the 90s is brought to you by extreme boredom.



i remember being in awe of this song as a highschool kid and listening to it now has not changed anything. i especially like this performance because apart from the beautiful song itself which is actually a hindu chant, just the sight of a white guy singing a song completely in sanskrit is so surreal. this is just one of the purest poetic expression of cultural fusion for me.

oh, and crispian mills, the lead vocals, is just so hot, for some reason. he's totally not my type but i make an exception in this case. and he reminds me so much of ryan agoncillo during his "are you in heat?" days with his geeky charm and adorable-ness.

i don't know where to start. this is bound to be a really long entry (so be warned) but if it turns out to become a not-long entry then good for you. yay. woot woot.

edit: apparently it's a really long entry so i kinda broke it down into numbers and lj cuts. pfft. :P


1.

saturday.


- was one of the most awesome if not the most awesome birthday ever! kahit na umuulan sa birthday ko, happy pa rin (parang jasmine and julian lang sa my girl lol). before anything else, gusto ko lang banggitin na may muntik ng gawin si jae na nakakatuwa at tawa ko ng tawa (yes nagmukha akong tanga) throughout the tricycle ride from my bahay to jae and dale's place. hindi ko na lang babanggitin kung ano kasi nakakahiya. pero basta. yun na yun. hehehe

anyway, to skip through the boring details (umulan, nahirapan kami maghanap ng taxi, blahblahblah), umabot kami sa greenbelt in the nick of time. so initially there were four of us... me, andy (1/2 of [exodia13] lol), dale [rambaldi23] and jae [helke]. ferdz (the other half of [exodia13]) arrived during dinner.


2. ( the mamma mia! review )


3.

the other pleasant surprise was owen arriving halfway through the movie all the way from alabang (or was it cavite?). grabe. it seemed like i havent seen him since forever and it was so nice to see him again. and yes, aaminin ko, ang cute cute cute ni owen lalo na ngayon na hindi na sya nagma meow (or at least i didnt hear him meow - and for you unaware readers... owen is a real person. not a cat. although he used to think he was. and meow-ed a lot).

after mamma mia we headed to ebun and ate so many things i can't even remember kung anu ano yung mga nilamon namin - except desert: melt-in-your-mouth bibinka at never ko makakalimutan yan dahil yan ang isa sa mga favorite ni jasmine sa my girl (wahehe). tapos laking gulat ko na lang biglang dumating si alvin [vaes9] halfway through dinner. as IN! like omg. sobrang gulat talaga ako. para akong nakakita ng ghost kasi ang tagal tagal na namin di nagkita/nagkausap ni alvin tapos biglang andyan sya at nag effort pa sya pumuntang makati from the far far away land of las pinas. wheee! thanks alviiin!


4. ( the dark knight review )


5.

i just wanna thank andy once again for the nth time (lol) for making this all possible. squeeeeeee!!! salamat salamat salamat! :D at sa lahat ng pumunta: ferdz, dale, jae, alvin and owen. at dun na rin sa isang malanding hindi pumunta dahil kung anu-anong kamunduhan ang ginawa sa puerto galera (lol) - yes ikaw yun, jerome. wala na ako masabi. basta. salamat :D


6.

turning 25 for me was a big deal. note the tense: was. i thought it was going to be a big deal. this was the year i'd like to think i grew up. this was the year i realized that i can't be a slacker forever. that i have to get somewhere someday. turning 25 was scary. it meant that, beyond any excuse, i am now an adult, and for the very first time, natanggap ko. dati nilalabanan ko pa dahil gusto ko pang maging bata, maging pasaway. ang dami ko pang gustung gawin na pagbubulakbol. ngayon, handa na ako. nagawa ko na lahat ng gusto kong gawin as a kid. i'm ready to grow up.

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7. ( the retarded dork )


8.

i spent the last waking moments of my birthday talking to gino, my bestfriend nung highschool. i am just so fucking blessed with wonderful friends. kahit na ang tagal tagal tagal na naming hindi naguusap, parang kahapon lang kami nagkita kung magusap kami. gino (and the rest of my highschool barkada) bring out a side of me i don't see so much these days. nakaka-miss na rin. talking to someone who knew me when i was in higschool, who still thinks of me as his dorky, moody, slightly deranged high school buddy who dispense heterosexual relationship advice as easily as a water dispenser (okay that was really lame. it's late and my brain is dead). iba pa rin yung feeling nung level of total acceptance from the people you sort of grew up with, na kahit alam kong binabasa ni gino paminsan minsan tong blog ko, never pa rin sya nagbago sakin. i could say the same for the rest of my highschool barkada. i guess ganun talaga. kahit ano mangyari, sa tingin namin sa isa't isa, kami pa rin yung mga dragon na naglalaro ng magic ng patago every afternoon sa creek ng pisay.

miss ko na kayo :)

OH.MY.GOD.

avatar is the best tv series in the entire world ever. EVER.

i just finished watching the last four episodes in the series and nothing could be more epic, more majestic, more absofuckinglutely perfect.

seriously.

quarter century of cwaziness. amfness.





there were times i thought i wouldn't make it... but too bad, i'm still around para painitin ulo nyo sa pagka slow ko, para patawanin kayo sa mga super duper corny jokes ko at tumawa sa equally corny jokes nyo, at para bigyang dagdag aliw ang ating mga buhay-buhay (kelangan meron talagang ganon). maraming maraming salamat.

ill see you guys later (except yung isa dyan na kung san sang lupalop ng pilipinas lumalandi lol lol lol) :D


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me hearts rocci.

( anong klaseng nilalang daw ako? )